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Expression, not aggression.



I had a conversation with a friend today that made me realize how much I am stifling my own growth and holding my voice back, with fear of self-expression, and fear of vulnerability. It really made me do some soul searching and I can admit that I do in fact have that problem. So many people come to me to talk, and I have the most sage advice to offer the world, but when I'm going through something I'm unable to reach out for the same. It's hard for me to express myself and share moments, experiences, or places in my life where I can use some light because in the past I've been led to believe that my feelings weren't valid. That my venting was complaining or that I was just insecure. It just made me shut down with the people closest to me, I felt unheard. Today I'm making a promise to myself that I will no longer hold my tongue. I realize that I have the right to express myself and that my feelings are valid. I am allowed to say that I'm offended without being accused of complaining and if the person I'm speaking to can't accept that, then that's on them. I also understand that I will have to disassociate from certain people or that certain people will ultimately remove themselves from my life. Often times our feelings can't be acknowledged because the other person is taking them personally. Our words are perceived as mirrors, reflecting back on them and they can't handle that. The spirit of acknowledgment and apologizing is however most important in communicating our feelings. Being able to admit when we're wrong or have offended someone is huge and the opposite of that can lead to self-destructive behaviors. When people aren't allowed to express themselves freely they tend to lash out or develop behavioral problems. It's been said that the truth isn't aggressive. If you find yourself having to argue your point, then you aren't being honest in your communication and the message will be lost. On the other hand, if your communication is met with an argument, then that situation needs to be addressed immediately. Don't allow someone to bully you or force you to shy away from the conversation. Be sure to use a discerning spirit to ensure that you are expressing yourself to the right person, someone that can handle what you're saying. Don't waste time with someone that is not living a life that exemplifies what you want, they can't help you.


The moral of the story is to speak up, and even if your voice shakes, say what you need to say in a healthy way. I know that my voice and my wisdom are my gifts and I plan to use them in a healthy way going forward. Remember this, if you need an ear, I'm always willing to listen.


Belle...





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